During college, Mike, Justin, and I adopted the phrase "disease".
The "disease" is like a "oneitis" overdeveloped.
I call it "the disease" because once it affects practically impossible for the controls. It corrupts your mind first, but then usually brings physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, weight loss, depression, insomnia.
It happens to the best of us ... and even though we already know that we have been infected, it's almost impossible to combat. Even if our best friends tell us "we must move forward", "go quiet" "Forget it," his words go in one ear and out the other.
Although the only cure for the "disease" is the time ... I thought that if I wrote a detailed description of how we infected (using my last battle against it as an example) you guys were going to be able to use this as a guide when the sit come. Although not pretend to be able to get rid of his obsession for yourself, at least may be able to avoid some of the typical mistakes I made.
The Anatomy of Disease
After falling in love slowly from one of my friends during the course of a year, everything exploded in a ski trip. I knew in my head that I had to make my move now or never. Weeks before the trip began to avoid ski before heading to the mountain. I wanted to create a cool person, and distance myself from the "friend zone" that had previously been subjected.
The first night of the ski trip I made a dramatic change in the way I interacted with her. I became more sexual, alluded to its appeal, and I became more pushy.
Though it seemed a little withdrawn, slowly began to respond to my escalation. By the end of the night we were in bed kissing. The next day he said it was a mistake and that he liked too as a friend to continue.But I insisted again that night, and again ended up in bed with me. Basically spent the rest of the trip locked in my room. To be completely honest, it was unlike anything he had experienced before. Maybe it was the sexual tension that had developed during the past year, our strong connection as friends, or just my crazy physical attraction to her, but was in a state that had never been before.
Although I finished the week on the mountain feeling a little vulnerable, I was pretty sure she felt the same. In fact, I would say that my confidence was sky high. I was on top.
The first couple of nights back at home went well. The girl and I send text messages at night. I was in "go quiet" so I said I would wait a few days to call her.
On Friday afternoon I could barely contain my excitement to spend time with her. While I was at work I texted "I want to see. A lot. ". I expected an immediate response correspondiéndome feeling it. I waited and waited ... but the answer never came.
He was still in the "looks quiet" so I decided to go to the bar with a couple of friends. My mind was a little girl, but was not too worried because she had a habit of forgetting our friendship. After the bar closed we did the after party at my house. Pretty drunk at this time, I went against my instincts and called her. And when I said I left a message. That night I fell asleep with the phone in my hand, waiting for the call.The Saturday morning was when I went into panic mode.
I fell that the information had not called. I began to "scan" my brain for reasons why I would be away. I started asking the opinion of some of my friends. All reassured me "only been a day." It felt better at the moment, then I remembered our wonderful week together in the mountains and I was trying to figure out what went wrong.
Sometime between Saturday and Sunday I convinced myself that the reason you're avoiding it because I do not trust that I really like. In my mind it made sense. She knows I'm a "player".
I thought what I had to do to prove that I really liked. So I went against my instincts and went to the flower shop on Monday morning. I bought the largest bouquet, wonderful and expensive they had, and I had it shipped to work on Tuesday night ... to complete a card was really embarrassing, basically professing my love.
On Monday night I called to one o'clock. My "friend partying" tells me not to answer him and give him a shot of their own medicine ... but my "friend dull" intervene, and ended by telling her to come to my house. When it comes to my house acts nonchalant about not calling ... and forgive immediately. We kissed a little ... I ate her pussy .. then left.
In the next morning I thought about whether I should cancel or not flowers. I decided to send them the same. Later in the evening, I received a call from her thanking me for the flowers. I say if he wants to date but says he is tired and just goes to sleep.
I wait until Friday to call again. Once again ... no response. I continue to go out with a friend, get extremely drunk ... and take home a doll of 18 years I worked. But even a fresh young girl of 18 years could dissuade the start of "the disease."
The next two months are blurry. I basically consist of checking my phone every 3 minutes to see if called. The few times he actually calls or sends a message ... I'm too weak to "play". For a minute or two I tell myself I will not call again ... but then I give up and call. She continues to avoid me. I try to make it quiet and act as if I did not care. Then in moments of weakness I send messages asking "what is happening between us" and shit with which I go crazy thinking.
Finally after two months I get really drunk and appear in his work. She is almost afraid to see me. I'm drunk but somehow convince her to go out and have a few drinks. Finally, I have in front of me after two months of playing with the phone ... but it's nothing like what I imagined. In my head ... she was going to confess his love to me, tell me how much I've missed you ... and end up curled up in my bed.
How the night ended, I was a fucking face giving him a love letter ... I wrote her taking the letter and going ... not even called me to recognize. As time passed I lost hope that call.
The mess that had become Bobby Rio finally was beginning to sort his life again. I was dating a new girl ... finally starting to beat "the disease."
But I could live well alone. I knew it would be an annual Christmas party where she worked. I had friends who still worked there. So once again, I get shit faced again and go to your party with one of my friends.The night started well ... I spent time catching up with a bunch of old friends ... talking to her when the occasion allowed. But as I became more drunk the shield of "quiet man" who had been showing little by little began to weaken. I started to ask questions about "the weekend we spent together." It was clear that she did not want to talk about it.
Then I started noticing that she and one of her co-workers were really hitting it off. I did not feel threatened because he knew the guy, and I never imagine that she would like ... but as I had drunk myself getting more and more sense. Everything was becoming very clear ... (in my drunken mind distorted) SHE WAS TAKING TO TYPE.
So I did the only thing a drunk bastard could do ... I followed him to the bathroom and gave him a pineapple on his jaw. Next thing I know is that we drove to the parking lot ... we were rolling on the floor hitting us our heads ... clavándonos fingers in our eyes .. I think even I bit.
Finally the rest of the party separates the fight ... I get into a taxi and send me my damn my ass home sick.Bobby Rio awoke the next morning at the Mero Fund.
I'll leave this story without comment. It is simply to show how the disease can take hold of anyone. At that point in my life and knew everything there was to know. I was taking my girls right and left .. always was the one taking control and decisions.
And I felt like a soldier.